Three wise men

Johnny Walker
Is Jack Daniels’ friend
And Jose Cuervo
They also befriend

Jose Cuervo
To make margaritas
Don’t take advantage
Of those senoritas

Jack Daniels
A Tennessee whisky
Drinking too much
Can make you frisky

Johnny Walkers’
Assorted blends
Their colored labels
Will be you friends

I'll drink Margaritas
I love the taste
But don't serve me whisky
This drink I'll waste

By, Randee Saber 11/26/08

Elvis imposters

Elvis imposters

Not the real thing

They’ll capture his look

His songs they will sing

 

As a young Elvis

Most will perform

In sequined jumpsuits

They will transform

 

Of rock and roll fame

Elvis was king

The music would cause

His hips to swing

 

A great performer

We'll never stop loving

And now to Graceland

His fans keep coming

 

Elvis imposters

His image you share

Of a great entertainer

When you are there

 

By, Randee Saber 11/26/08

 

I'd like to be on Oprah

I'd like to be on Oprah
Chicago’s where I’d go
I’d go there in the winter
Cause I don’t mind the snow

If Oprah had me as her guest
My poems I’d recite
And when the show was over
A poem I would write

Although I seem to look okay
I do have one confession
I started writing poetry
It’s helped with my depression

I get so many compliments
My website’s often read
What I decide to write about
Are thoughts within my head

If I’d go on the Oprah show
I’d be an inspiration
For someone with depression
I’d share my information

Oprah I am asking you
May I be on your show
I’ve written funny poems too
Not very long ago

By, Randee Saber 6/18/06

Pretty pink ribbons

Pretty pink ribbons
Worn with pride
Breast cancer patients
Will often confide

Donate your money
A race for the cure
Breast cancer affects
The rich and the poor

The mentally ill
No ribbons to wear
Their illness is silent
Does anyone care

Suicide victims
Too many have died
Crying for help
But help was denied

A breast cancer patient
I don’t want to be
I’m mentally ill
Please listen to me

By, Randee Saber 11/23/08

I hate cartoons

When I was young
Cartoons were shown
Before each movie
Until I was grown

What I disliked most
They weren’t realistic
Too many characters
Were very sadistic

No one got hurt
From a steep fall
And everyone always
Survived a brawl

Tom and Jerry
A cat and a mouse
The mouse was chased
Around the house

The mouse was clever
It never got caught
And teased the cat
With each new plot

We now see previews
Instead of cartoons
Which I like better
Than Looney tunes

By, Randee Saber 11/21/08

Copy cats

We buy the same cars
We buy the same clothes
And millions will watch
The same T.V. shows

The same computers
And cellular phones
And many will choose
The same ring tones

Choosing the college
Where their dad went
And thousands attend
The same sporting event

They’ll pray on Sunday
How pious they are
But many will go
To the neighborhood bar

So don’t get upset
With that copy cat
Who dresses like you
At the party you’re at


By, Randee Saber 11/18/08

Are you really macho

You’re the lead singer
In a country-western band
You look like a cowboy
With cattle to brand

You play the guitar
In a rock and roll band
With torn faded jeans
You’re in demand

You sing all alone
A man who’s now old
In a Las Vegas show
All tickets are sold

You don’t put out fires
No lives have you saved
And a few times
You haven't behaved

You sing for thousands
And never seem scared
Sharing your songs
That you’ve prepared

Are you really macho
You play the guitar
Singing your songs
The girls think you are

By, Randee Saber 7/17/06

The Entrepreneur

The entrepreneur
Is innovative
Successful because
He’s motivated

He took a chance
It wasn’t easy
An honest person
He wasn’t sleazy

Thousands of jobs
He has created
People earn money
And they’re elated

He’s very wealthy
And could retire
His dedication
His workers admire

His legacy
Will still carry on
When he departs
After he’s gone

By, Randee Saber 7/31/08

The North and the South

The North or the South
The East or the West
Is there a place
You like the best

From North to South
From coast to coast
The smaller cities
You'll find the most

Those in the North
Are tired of snow
Their winters can be
At least ten below

Those in the South
Can’t stand the heat
Inside their homes
They will retreat

Canadian neighbors
Living up North
Crossing our borders
Back and forth

Does anyone question
When they choose to stay
If they're illegal
Are they sent away

Our Mexican neighbors
Are not welcome here
Crossing the border
They do live in fear

Mexican workers
Will mow your yard
And fix your roof
They work very hard

Because they’re illegal
They can’t be hired
If it becomes known
They will get fired

The South when it’s cold
The North when it’s hot
A home in each place
I’d like that a lot

By, Randee Saber 11/15/08

You're fat enough right now

You’re fat enough right now
You really love to eat
You weigh 400 pounds
And you can break a seat

You frequent Chinese buffets
A favorite place for you
And many plates of food
You’ll certainly accrue

You’re fat enough right now
Are you just unaware
Of what you have become
I guess you just don’t care

Your body’s way too big
For jeans and stylish clothes
Because the more you eat
Your body grows and grows

Your family's quite concerned
They try to give advice
You’re able to lose weight
You’ve even lost it twice

You’d like to meet a lady
And go out on a date
Because you are too heavy
You’re not an ideal mate

You can't ignore the staring
You're smaller than a whale
Your doctor's also told you
Your health will surely fail

You’re shortening your life span
If you don’t limit eating
And join a group of others
At a Weight Watchers meeting

By, Randee Saber 4/27/06

For those of you

For those who liked offending me
I lacked the strength to let it be

For those who lowered my self esteem
I tried to be nice and never mean

For those I thought were once a friend
You wanted our friendship to finally end

For those who treated me unkind
You didn’t know I’d lose my mind

For all those reasons I got depressed
I hardly drove because I was stressed

For those of you who didn’t know
Five hospital visits I had to go

And now I can write a poem for you
It’s given me something useful to do

And with the income we’ve acquired
A new travel trailer was desired

And since I’m not working I have free time
So into my trailer or cruise ship I’ll climb

And now I’m trying to let it pass
The fact that you were a pain in the ass

By, Randee Saber 11/3/08

Follow the leader

Follow the leader 

A king or a queen 

And hope that neither 

Will ever be mean

 Follow the captain 

He's always in charge 

Of a luxury ship

 And even a barge 

 Follow the teacher 

Who leads your class 

Pay close attention 

In order to pass 

 Follow your boss 

And supervisor 

When help is needed 

You'll have an advisor 

 Follow the leader 

It’s not just a band 

The symphony 

Is at his command 

 Follow the leader 

Who’s now a dictator 

If not they'll say 

That you're a traitor

 Follow the leader 

The one we've elected 

We lined up to vote 

And he was selected 

 Follow the leader 

When it's Sunday 

Inspiring sermons 

Your preacher will say 

 By, Randee Saber 11/1/08