Monday, April 28, 2008

Snack attack

I just had a snack attack
In the middle of the day
I didn’t have a thing to eat
Until you swam my way

But when I sank my teeth in you
I had to spit you out
Covered in a rubber suit
Now, what’s that all about

I didn’t know you weren’t a fish
I'll usually eat a seal
Swimming by all dressed in black
You looked like a good meal

Now everyone is mad at me
They want to seek revenge
Because you died from being bit
Your death they will avenge

Fish should not be eating men
But men can eat a fish
When a fish is cleaned and cooked
It then goes on a dish

No matter where or when you swim
You may not fear the worst
A shark might want to sample you
After all, we were here first

Swim carefully!

By, Randee Saber 4/28/08

A great white shark, approx. 12-17 ft. long, attacked and killed
Dr. David Martin, a retired veterinarian in the early morning
hours on Friday, April 25, 2008. The attack occurred in San Diego
County, California where shark attacks are rare. Dr. Martin was
training for a triathlon and his black wetsuit may have resembled a
seal, which this type of shark feeds on.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Cracks are Red, Bams are Green

Cracks are red
Bams are green
In a Mah Jongg set
You won’t find a queen

Build your wall
Two stories high
If you don't get jokers
Try not to cry

Arrange your tiles
And look at your card
The hand you choose
Could be very hard

Do the Charleston
But not the dance
Your hand may improve
There is a good chance

Be sure not to look
Or pick ahead
A hand played wrong
Will be declared dead

You need to decide
What tiles to throw
Just play it safe
If you don't know

A few times a week
Some play this game
They don't get bored
It's never the same

By, Randee Saber 1/4/06

Do wah diddy diddy

Artist, Manfred Mann

There she was just a-walkin’ down the street
Singin’ Do wah diddy diddy dum diddy do
But if we sang this song out loud
They'd say what's wrong with you

Unless we see you laugh or cry
It’s hard for us to tell
Just by looking at you
That you’re not doing well

Perhaps you lost your job
Or maybe lost your pet
Your house just caught on fire
Of course you’d be upset

Perhaps you lost your money
Or maybe lost your wife
You could have been so sad
And tried to end your life

Perhaps you got good news
And now you’re cancer free
Or did they have to amputate
Your leg beneath the knee

Perhaps you’re really rich
And dress in shabby jeans
Or maybe you’re a hero
Who served with the marines

But if you're someone famous
You're always glad to share
How you’re really feeling
It's amazing that we care

By, Randee Saber 4/25/08

Monday, April 21, 2008

Are you a nice person

Are you a nice person
Do you wear a smile
Or do you like to frown
More than once in a while

Are you a nice person
Do you treat people well
Or do you get annoyed
And too often will yell

Are you a nice person
Do you like to help out
Or do you ignore them
And leave them in doubt

Are you a nice person
Do you watch what you say
Or do you act nasty
And chase people away

You are a nice person
If you smile and say
That I’d like to help out
So you’ll have a good day

By, Randee Saber 4/21/08

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I use to be....but now I am

I used to run a company
Until one day they said
They needed someone younger
To do my job instead

But now I drive a yellow bus
That hardly pays the bills
It gives me spending money
Plus, my idle time it fills

I used to be the owner
Of a store that sold fine wine
Until the competition came
That store could not be mine

But now I have to volunteer
It keeps me occupied
Since no one else will hire me
Believe me, I have tried

I used to be President
I had a lot of power
Until I got so darned confused
And didn’t want to shower

But now I’m in a nursing home
Because I lost my mind
And I don't know who visits me
Where I have been confined

I used to be a welfare mom
A junkie and a hooker
My child had no food to eat
So someone came and took her

But now I have a decent job
And life is very good
I got my little daughter back
And also left the hood

By, Randee Saber 4/20/08

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Camping trip

A camping trip
Without a tent
An RV site
Is what you rent

A sleeping bag
No need to pack
You’ll carry nothing
On your back

You’ll bring along
Some food to eat
You have a table
With a seat

You also have
Your own commode
So you can stop
Along the road

You won’t be cold
You won’t be hot
A thermostat
Is what you got

And have no fear
About the rain
Or let the bugs
Drive you insane

And don't forget
To bring your pet
Those kennel fees
You’ll never get

Along the beach
Or by the lake
Your own RV
Is yours to take

By, Randee Saber 4/19/08

Do you speak English?

I love your foreign accent
I’ll guess where you are from
You come from far away
So let me say welcome

I speak the English language
And I’m impressed with you
Because you learned to speak it
Just like you planned to do

They speak a foreign language
I know that it's not French
Perhaps they're speaking Spanish
While sitting on their bench

It isn’t their intention
To try to understand
The language that is spoken
It’s theirs that they demand

In high school I took Spanish
But never understood
A Spanish conversation
And knew I never would

Although it’s very difficult
We'll say that they are wrong
If they don’t learn our language
We won't think they belong

By, Randee Saber 4/19/08

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Noise Pollution

Sunrise, sunset
Did you forget
You’re stereo’s on
I’m really upset

I’m sitting outside
Trying to read
Turn off your music
Why must I plead

Unable to hear
The rustle of leaves
The chirping of birds
Above in my trees

The music is loud
Your songs I dislike
Why not go out
And take a hike

The sound of the surf
Is what I should hear
Instead your music
Is loud and clear

You've chosen to sit
Right by my feet
I was here first
We didn't plan to meet

I’ll have to get up
And move my chair
The volume's turned up
Aren't you aware

Music that’s loud
Pollutes the air
Turn it down
There's no need to share

By, Randee Saber 4/13/08

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Beauty Parlor Literature

Improve your sex life
With their advice
They don't recommend
That you use a device

Spice up your meals
Try something new
Prepare a roux
For a hearty beef stew

Follow these steps
You need to lose weight
Hire a trainer
Avoid eating late

Long hair is in
But soon it will change
And what's in style
May look strange

How terribly sad
This person is sick
And needs a transplant
But can't get it quick

Celebrity gossip
See what they wear
Plunging necklines
With backs that are bare

Her bitter divorce
His custody battle
This star owns a ranch
And raises cattle

A home and garden
In this magazine
Outside is their fountain
Inside's like a dream

By, Randee Saber 4/3/08